


the perfect nanny

by imposterhuman



Series: cosmic loneliness [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Good Omens Fusion, Angel Steve Rogers, Demon Tony Stark, Female Tony Stark, Fluff, Genderfluid Tony Stark, M/M, Pining, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sassy Steve Rogers, Sassy Tony Stark, Well - Freeform, antichrist harley keener, fake antichrist harley keener, is more accurate i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 20:57:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20513390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: “I understand you need a nanny,” Tony said as soon as the Keeners’ butler opened the door. She left no room for argument in her tone, clutching her parrot-handled umbrella with both dignity and ruthlessness.Wisely, the butler stepped aside to let her inside.





	the perfect nanny

**Author's Note:**

> not gonna lie i had "the perfect nanny" from mary poppins stuck in my head the whole time i was writing this
> 
> instead of warlock dowling, we have harley keener! i feel like hed be honored to be my fake antichrist. if i ever expand this, peter will be adam young and mj and ned part of the Them
> 
> enjoy!

“I understand you need a nanny,” Tony said as soon as the Keeners’ butler opened the door. She left no room for argument in her tone, clutching her parrot-handled umbrella with both dignity and ruthlessness. 

Wisely, the butler stepped aside to let her inside.

\---

Harley, in Tony’s expert opinion, absolutely deserved the title of Antichrist. She was no angel herself, but Harley gave a whole new meaning to demonic. Maybe it was children in general that she didn’t like, since Steve seemed to take a liking to the young son of Satan.

She took her job as a goddemon very seriously, though; she had to be just evil enough that Steve’s goodness would offset it and leave Harley utterly normal. It was a hard task, what with her being one of Hell’s most commended demons, but she managed.

“Go to sleep and dream of pain,” she sang sweetly, laying him down for his afternoon nap. The child listened to her song attentively. “Doom and darkness, blood and brains. Sleep so sweet, my darling boy; you will rule when Earth’s destroyed.”

Harley blinked up at her with trusting eyes. “The gardener says I must be kind and nice to everyone,” he said. “And not ever destroy Earth.”

“The gardener is an idiot and a fool,” Tony said, her smile a slash of blood red on her face. “Don’t listen to him. Listen to  _ me _ .”

“Okay, Nanny,” the boy said, closing his eyes to sleep. 

Before his breathing had evened out, Tony was out the door. She stormed with purpose to the garden, where she knew her angel would be waiting.

In her heels, the walk through the grass was a little more irritating, but Tony wasn’t about to sacrifice her saunter and style for comfort. She never had before, and never would. Her six-inch snakeskin heels, while largely impractical, were her favorite part of the whole nanny gig. 

“Angel!” Tony called, drawing closer to where Steve was half-heartedly gardening. Tony wasn’t sure why he bothered; he would miracle the weeds away later and they both knew it.

Steve looked up from his plants. Even a few years into their ruse, she hadn’t gotten used to the scrawny stature of her formerly buff angel. But his eyes, at least, were the same. “Yes, Tony?” 

“ _ Sister Slug _ ?” she raised an eyebrow as soon as she was close enough for him to read her disapproval. Harley had been telling stories about his time with the gardener during the day, and respecting Sister Slug and featured heavily. If Tony heard about the slug one more time…

“He has to learn to cherish all life,” Steve shrugged, a spark of mischief in his eyes. “Did you tell him to salt her?”

“I handed him the salt myself. He seemed quite excited,” Tony shook her head, amused despite herself. “Did he do it?” 

“Not that I know,” he breathed out a sigh of relief. “So far, he’s perfectly normal. Neither good nor evil.”

Tony bumped shoulders with Steve. “We’re doing great,” she said, allowing herself for a moment to think of a future beyond Harley’s twelfth birthday. “Let’s celebrate.”

Steve rolled his eyes as Tony grabbed a bottle of wine from behind her back. “We’re on the job, Tony,” he said, nearly fondly. “We can’t drink.”

“Just sober up later,” she waved a hand and took a swig from the bottle. “It’s Châteauneuf-du-Pape.” 

“You fiend!” Steve spluttered. “You stole that from my bookshop!”

“Oh, for sure,” Tony agreed, taking another sip. “And I’m going to drink it all as my reward for putting up with a  _ child  _ all day.”

He snatched the bottle and drank from it. “You wanted to be the nanny,” he reminded her. “I did offer.”

“Yeah, well,” Tony took the wine back and took a long swig. “Shut up. I look better in the outfit.”

Steve chuckled softly. “Sure you do, Tony.”

They sat in companionable silence, an angel and a demon trying to stop the apocalypse, for as long as it took to drain the bottle of wine they shared. Then Tony stood, brushed the dirt off of her long skirt, and started her saunter back to the house to wake Harley from his nap.

As much as she wanted to stay, she had a job to do. They had to stop the apocalypse, one grammar lesson at a time.

**Author's Note:**

> note: i made tony use she/her pronouns because the go show creators confirmed that crowley canonically presents as female when she is nanny ashtoreth. also gaiman says angels/demons are sexless so fuck gender anyway
> 
> comments and kudos make me happy!!
> 
> yell at me on tumblr [@imposter-human](https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/)


End file.
